KILLING TIME

I have nothing remotely interesting to say... Perhaps, Im just trying to improve my typing skills. hahaha. Hirap mag-isip...masarap magtype. hahaha. Praning!

until your sober...

and so he dropped by in my house in a very ungodly hour---2a.m.

He was drunk, kicked by the powerful spirit of red horse. I know, he's problematic. He kept on whispering, ikaw lang...ikaw lang...ikaw lang nagmamahal sa akin. P___ I___ mga magulang ko.

I was shocked, I can't react...and I can't speak... I can't find the words to say that could at least lessen his burden, so, i just patiently listen to him...

I can see the loneliness in his eyes while he was talking and I pity him for feeling that way. And I also pity myself because all I can do in that situation is to listen and embrace him...EMBRACE HIM TIGHTLY.

TIME OUT

TIME OUT!

Time out muna...hinga muna ako.
Napapagod na ako...mahirap maging malakas.
Ang hirap ding maging masaya.

Time out muna...Cge na!

CROSSROAD

Should I turn left or right? Straight ahead or take the u-turn slot?
I'm in the middle of a crossroad
I can't choose...I can't decide...I am confused.
What's holding this feeling? Who triggered this?
I don't know... I can't decipher the mere reason of this emotion.

And this sucks...BIG TIME!

GLOOMY

THE WEATHER IS GLOOMY...

COLD...

AND MOURNING WITH ME.

(Hopefully, the tsinelas and feeding program later can uplift my spirit)

MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY...

SWEET WORDS FROM YOUR LIPS...
GENTLE TOUCH OF YOUR HANDS...
COMFORTING HUGS AND KISSES...
YES, YOU MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH THESE.

MOMENTS WITH YOU IN SILENCE...
INSENSITIVE COMMENTARIES...
CHILDISH WHINES AND ACTIONS...
THESE DOESN'T MATTER FOR ME, INDEED!

WE COMPROMISE...WE PROMISE
BUT STILL I'M WOUNDED.

(MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY...I WILL WHISPER THIS IN THE AIR, AND HOPEFULLY THE UNIVERSE WILL CONSPIRE TO BRING THIS TO YOU.)

INSENSITIVE

How do you cool your lips
After a summers kiss
How do you rid the sweat
After the body bliss
How do you turn your eyes
From the romantic glare
How do you block the sound of a voice
Youd know anywhere

Oh I really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive

How do you numb your skin
After the warmest touch
How do you slow your blood
After the body rush
How do you free your soul
After youve found a friend
How do you teach your heart its a crime
To fall in love again

Oh you probably wont remember me
Its probably ancient history
Im one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
Im out of vogue, Im out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive

MAMMA MIA...OOHHLALA...

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture

And save it from the funny tricks of time

Slipping through my fingers...

From MAMMA MIA OST - Slipping through my fingers by ABBA.

Indeed, time just slips into my fingers...
(very frustrating...and I have to do something ASAP)

WHAT???

And so someone texted and every one's on a panic mode.... (I don't want to write the details anymore coz the thought of it makes me cold blooded)

Yes, I was irritated but after contemplating this weekend on what happened I realized how lucky I am to be surrounded by caring and loving people.

Thank you very much.

ONE MILLION PESO QUESTION...

What do I want? I want someone whom I can call in the middle of the night without having to worry if I was going to be a nuisance to his slumber. That my calling him at such an ungodly hour meant he was that important to me that I chose him to talk to and not anyone else. And he would appreciate that. He would pretend I didn’t wake him up because he was watching late night re-runs of some pathetic sitcom anyway and push his lie further by telling me he was glad I called just so I wouldn’t feel neglected. Even if we both know he was probably way into never ever land and if I were anyone else he would’ve sent me flying there with my head between my legs. But since it was me, he would stick a needle in his eye to keep himself awake if he had to. And I would appreciate that.

What do I want? I want someone who would call me at the spur of the moment, out of the blue just because he had the urge to hear me. That his calling me at such spontaneous moments meant I was that irresistible to him he couldn’t wait for any right time to let me know he was thinking about me. And I would appreciate that. I would drop whatever it is I am doing, hold my horses and let time stop. And he would appreciate that.

What do I want? I want to be a girl sometimes. I want to be able to throw tantrums, be a brat, or turn melodramatic on some silly situation and I wouldn’t care if my being those things would affect how he feels about me because that’s who I am. That telling and showing him what I really feel means I’m that comfortable in his presence and I don’t see the need to suppress my emotions because I know he would love me just the same. And he would appreciate that. He wouldn’t tolerate my tantrums but make sure I know he understands where it’s coming from and not just tell me he does just so I would shut up but sees to it he follows through. And I would more than just appreciate that.

What do I want? I want to be with someone who doesn’t have to be told what I want because he would know. He would know that I like being with him so he would be there with and for me. No questions asked. He would know that a girl likes to be appreciated, complimented, and made to feel important. And he would do all that not only because he knows it’s what I want, but because it’s what he wants to do.

And we would both appreciate it.

(these are the answers my love...until you read my blog...until you will be sensitive enough.)

Q.T.

Q.T. literally means QUALITY TIME...

But for me, it's CALERUEGA.

Only two hours away from Manila and you will find this paradise...serene, romantic and perfect for bonding or quality time with your love ones...

Words are not enough to describe how fun it was...

LET THE PICTURES DO THE TALKING...



@ kampo arriba- kodak moments after lunch...

Under the trees, wind caressing our faces..
We can't control to lay our backs on the ground and take a nap.

AND THEN...

READY...GET SET...GO!

I'm so excited for Sunday... I planned a trip going to Caleruega and Tagaytay with Tabs. ( with an emphasis on "I planned" coz this trip is a surprise. hehehe. landi! You know, that mushy-cheesy gimik of mine. hehehe)

and here's the blow by blow account of how i came up with it....

I just arrived last night from Bora and Guimaras. As usual, I was very tried but Tab’s phone call was a relief. No! more of a treat for me. His mere voice is enough to rejuvenate my tired body.

He called over the landline so, it was unlimited talk time…he shared his rants and whines about his hospital duty and study routines. Such a whiner, such a brat! And sometimes, I love him that way… :)

Apart from his whines, we also had a lot of landian and asaran chitchatting which lasted for almost 2 hours. And it was sweet…very sweet that I suddenly miss him. I miss talking to him in person, I miss walking with him in Harbor square. I miss stargazing with him in Intramuros...I just miss him.

So, before we said goodbye last night, I blow the invitation…I don’t have anything in mind yet. No plans, no place to go, nothing. But one thing’s for sure, I want to spend a day with him as early as 7a.m.

And here goes a bit of our last minute conversation last night…

me: may naisip ako, meet tayo ng Sunday, 7 a.m.

tabs: ha? bakit? ang aga naman...

me: basta...sumunod ka na lang. ako ang boss ngayon! hahaha

tabs: ang aga kaya, galing pa ako ng Angono.

me: eh anu naman...basta magmeet tayo. ok? wala ng tanong...

tabs: ok ah...ang aga, alas-siete. buti pa ang intsik tanghali magdate, tayo umaga, instik ba tayo?

me: hindi. mukha lang intsik.hehehe.

tabs: hahaha. san ba kasi tayo pupunta?

me: basta nga...surprise! wag ka na magtanong, oo na lang...

tabs: di ba pwde 8?

me: hindi. final na 7 a.m.

tabs: oh cia, cge na nga...

and then we said good night.

And immediately, i started thinking for a place to go. here's my option:

1. Batangas (too far)
2. Antipolo ( too near)
3. Caleruega/ Tagaytay (hmmmp... almost 2 hours from Manila, not bad! Tabs haven't been here before and the weather... cold! good for cuddling. hehehe.)

ok...ok...obviously, option 3 is the best. do you agree with me?

Slowly...slowly...Gone!

I'm drifting!
Drifting from the hope that everything will be fine.
Drifting from the thought that ours would be happy ending ...

(tears falling...me sobbing...)

(and my ego said: Hey Jes! hold on...grip tighter...)

INVINCIBLE

What hurts is that since you are strong
They would not think that you were ever weak
Since you are a leader, you were never a follower
Since you soar high, you never touched the ground...

It is unfair, to boxed you and less think of your emotions
I do feel the ground beneath my feet
I smell the flowers once in awhile
So never let me feel less human...

I am perfectly fine
There is nothing wrong with me
Stab me and I will bleed...
Curse me and I will stumble...
I am a person with feelings, like the rest of you
But you made me feel invincible yet I am weak
So I bleed...stumble...
Cry and breakdown...