Pardon all the rants and raves of my previous entries. I've been a whining bitch writing those crap. But now that I'm back in the blog sphere after 7 months of not posting anything, I will try to make this page inspiring from hereon...
To start anew, I changed my template into a positive and refreshing look...Whoooassh! Magic!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
SPICE
Centuries ago Marco Polo explored the whole world because of Spices. Navigated through smooth and rough seas and meddled with people from various races just to bring home spices like pepper, ginger, etc... He was victorious with his expedition. In fact, through his journey he discovered that the earth is round and turns in axis. So what? Ergo? The heck with Marco Polo right? harharhar.
Truthfully, at this point of my life I can say that I want to be like Marco Polo, jump out of my comfort zone and explore vast horizons to put spice in my life...Don't get me wrong, I have quite an exciting life, my work is not a routine, I have loads of wacky friends and adorable family but still, there's something missing...SPICE
So, to have what they called SPICE... First step, I indulged myself in entertaining creatures from Mars...Men!
I love men...I adore their being and want to be around them but...ah...ah...I'm not flirt! I just want their aura that illuminates security.
I have suitors, some of which are old friends and others are total strangers...I can't deny, at some point they fluster my heart but none lead to real romance. I don't know what happened or what went wrong to the getting to know each other stage but these men just chicken out, perhaps because my personality is too strong... (I'm too frank and tackless to say anything regardless of what they would think and react). Bottom line, at 23, I don't have a boyfriend yet and none since birth...
To end this litany... allow me to quote Lisa Velthouse from Saving my first kiss: "I hope and pray that My prince charming is out there somewhere. I don't think he has found me yet. Despite that fact, I am enjoying my time waiting for him because I'm convinced that he is worth waiting..."
Friday, February 2, 2007
BLISS
When was the last time you feel completely happy??? Hmmpp...simple question, right? But for me, it's so fucking hard to answer. This question hits me like a thunder...it left me dumb headed. If this could be a jackpot question in a quiz bee or in a beauty contest, I would definitely miss the chance to win.
Happiness is relative right? We percieve it differently depending on our lifestyle, priorities and perhaps intelligence...I am a self confessed shallow, sanguine person...happy camper as they often referred. I'm easy to please... eating fishballs, isaw, walking, reading and just by staring blankly would satisfy me...that's why I can't decipher why i find this question very hard to answer... tsk! tsk! tsk! happiness...happiness...happiness...what's with you? Aaarrrgggg...think happiness, burn some neurons bitch!
Saturday, January 20, 2007
PSYCHO
Just when Mayon Volcano was speculated to be exploding few months back, I wrote this piece. It was a sudden burst of emotion...emotion filled of absurdity that i ended asking myself am I psychologically decapitated?
THOUGHT IN A LIMBO...
AUGUST 07, 2006
MONDAY -2:18 A.M.
WHILE WAITING FOR MY ALBAY PULL-OUT @4 a.m.
TOTALLY SLEEPY BUT I’M AFRAID TO TAKE A NAP…(probably because of “sukob”)
IT’S JUST THIS RARE MOMENT WHERE I’ M IN SOLITUDE TO WRITE WHAT’S BUGGING IN MY MIND…PERHAPS IT’S BECAUSE OF THE WEATHER (IT’S RAINING OUTSIDE BY THE WAY), EMPTINESS OF THE OFFICE, BOREDOM, OR MAYBE SUDDEN REALIZATION…
Another day will begin yet it doesn’t seem new to me. Another sunlight will shed upon the trees and grasses yet it won’t make me feel new the way they do. The clock seems to tick so fast nowadays and yet I don’t seem so affected. And though the world is going under so many changes everyday my inner self doesn’t feel the same. I’m somehow trap in my own world never allowing anyone to struggle with me. Things I consider passion before were all gone without a trace, without a reason, they were just gone. Like steam, like smoke they suddenly disappeared and I got no memory of tracing them. I'll go again and proceed to my worthless life and yet I don’t feel worthless. My mind tells me that I exist for something very significant yet I can’t reach that reason, I can’t reach the very reason I exist or maybe I’m just too blind to see it. The life itself might have blinded me from looking back at the fact that I exist for God, and I know that but I can’t grasp the truth or maybe the reality itself. I seem to be lodging to a huge limbo that I thought I could escape but it seems that my self is looking for something else. Something that would affect me very much. Things had happen and I can’t do anything to turn back the time. Time has been wasted indeed. Mistakes had been done and yet it had thought me great things yet I don’t feel satisfied. I know the fact that somewhere deeper in me hungers for something else; something even I can’t describe or maybe I’m still trying to figure it out. I have seen death, sufferings and many other that will subdue life to its very piece still I feel no content. Today I have done nothing promising. My search for that reason is still in vain. I have been thinking many things, my ambitions, my destiny, my fate, and my future yet I can’t decide where to proceed. Everything has their end and I might as well end this search within this week, month, year...this I don’t know yet. And it doesn’t matter if it happens on a split second or even a minute or two but importantly should change the very way I live my life. I have tons of problems I’m dealing with and each night I think of them with odd anxiety. What would be the best way to live my life? Of course I know the answers but seems to me that they're lacking, seems to me that I need the final ingredients to perform my recipe. Music had entice my hunger for some time yet my passion for it had been long disappearing, technology had entertained me for a while yet I don’t feel satisfied anymore, my vices had occupied me for awhile but it seems that I have lost the will to continue it. Books and many other articles had fed me great things but now it had left me. Everywhere outside on my home seems like a new place to me. Faces that used to be my comrades seem to have gotten the tarmac of a stranger. My friends, they suddenly feel like strangers. My workplace for the first time had suddenly become a big world. And every face on the crowd looks so suspicious. My mind is in chaos right now. I’m really lost at everything. I have been neglecting many things. Why? Have I lost my self-control? Have my self-pity eaten all the conscience left on me? Have this wretched world poisoned my mind? Have I been affected without knowing it? Or am I just so stubborn to listen to my own self! Have I been neglecting my heart that long that it had stopped speaking to me? Have I been so arrogantly foolish that everything inside me had walk away and left me alone? And what the hell am I doing not sleeping and typing all these nonsense on this stupid computer… 4:03 a.m.
THOUGHT IN A LIMBO...
AUGUST 07, 2006
MONDAY -2:18 A.M.
WHILE WAITING FOR MY ALBAY PULL-OUT @4 a.m.
TOTALLY SLEEPY BUT I’M AFRAID TO TAKE A NAP…(probably because of “sukob”)
IT’S JUST THIS RARE MOMENT WHERE I’ M IN SOLITUDE TO WRITE WHAT’S BUGGING IN MY MIND…PERHAPS IT’S BECAUSE OF THE WEATHER (IT’S RAINING OUTSIDE BY THE WAY), EMPTINESS OF THE OFFICE, BOREDOM, OR MAYBE SUDDEN REALIZATION…
Another day will begin yet it doesn’t seem new to me. Another sunlight will shed upon the trees and grasses yet it won’t make me feel new the way they do. The clock seems to tick so fast nowadays and yet I don’t seem so affected. And though the world is going under so many changes everyday my inner self doesn’t feel the same. I’m somehow trap in my own world never allowing anyone to struggle with me. Things I consider passion before were all gone without a trace, without a reason, they were just gone. Like steam, like smoke they suddenly disappeared and I got no memory of tracing them. I'll go again and proceed to my worthless life and yet I don’t feel worthless. My mind tells me that I exist for something very significant yet I can’t reach that reason, I can’t reach the very reason I exist or maybe I’m just too blind to see it. The life itself might have blinded me from looking back at the fact that I exist for God, and I know that but I can’t grasp the truth or maybe the reality itself. I seem to be lodging to a huge limbo that I thought I could escape but it seems that my self is looking for something else. Something that would affect me very much. Things had happen and I can’t do anything to turn back the time. Time has been wasted indeed. Mistakes had been done and yet it had thought me great things yet I don’t feel satisfied. I know the fact that somewhere deeper in me hungers for something else; something even I can’t describe or maybe I’m still trying to figure it out. I have seen death, sufferings and many other that will subdue life to its very piece still I feel no content. Today I have done nothing promising. My search for that reason is still in vain. I have been thinking many things, my ambitions, my destiny, my fate, and my future yet I can’t decide where to proceed. Everything has their end and I might as well end this search within this week, month, year...this I don’t know yet. And it doesn’t matter if it happens on a split second or even a minute or two but importantly should change the very way I live my life. I have tons of problems I’m dealing with and each night I think of them with odd anxiety. What would be the best way to live my life? Of course I know the answers but seems to me that they're lacking, seems to me that I need the final ingredients to perform my recipe. Music had entice my hunger for some time yet my passion for it had been long disappearing, technology had entertained me for a while yet I don’t feel satisfied anymore, my vices had occupied me for awhile but it seems that I have lost the will to continue it. Books and many other articles had fed me great things but now it had left me. Everywhere outside on my home seems like a new place to me. Faces that used to be my comrades seem to have gotten the tarmac of a stranger. My friends, they suddenly feel like strangers. My workplace for the first time had suddenly become a big world. And every face on the crowd looks so suspicious. My mind is in chaos right now. I’m really lost at everything. I have been neglecting many things. Why? Have I lost my self-control? Have my self-pity eaten all the conscience left on me? Have this wretched world poisoned my mind? Have I been affected without knowing it? Or am I just so stubborn to listen to my own self! Have I been neglecting my heart that long that it had stopped speaking to me? Have I been so arrogantly foolish that everything inside me had walk away and left me alone? And what the hell am I doing not sleeping and typing all these nonsense on this stupid computer… 4:03 a.m.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
DEVIRGINIZED
YES! I WAS DEVIRGINIZED by blog… I bet, you’re thinking about something else...huh?
Blogging is not alien to me, its something my friends has been rearing for so long but this is not my thing. I find this very laborious, time consuming and call me paranoid but I think this would be a threat for my priceless privacy…but where I am now? Facing my computer, battling with my keyboard to have this special spot in cyber space. Perhaps, this is out of boredom or just to be in the bandwagon nevertheless, I would like to welcome you to my DANGEROUS MIND…
Blogging is not alien to me, its something my friends has been rearing for so long but this is not my thing. I find this very laborious, time consuming and call me paranoid but I think this would be a threat for my priceless privacy…but where I am now? Facing my computer, battling with my keyboard to have this special spot in cyber space. Perhaps, this is out of boredom or just to be in the bandwagon nevertheless, I would like to welcome you to my DANGEROUS MIND…
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